You look at that girl across the room. She is nothing special, but she is eye fucking you because you’re an eight and she’s a mid-range six. As long as you can keep yourself from showing too much of your shitty personality and not let on that you cry yourself to sleep, the odds of hooking up with her are favorable. You ask your buddy what he thinks of her. “Huh, not bad, I’d pee in her butt” he responds with a nod and frown. You’ve already been rejected by the hot chicks at the bar, and with a couple of more drinks this girl could become a rock solid seven. You make your move.
It comes as no surprise that most women are not bombshells. Most women (and men) are average looking, have average levels of intelligence, and have average ambitions. For a girlfriend, my high standards in all those fields are nonnegotiable. But a chick to just hook up with no emotional investment or attachment, those standards can be adjusted.
Plain looking women have their place in society just like every other person. They can be great sisters, friends, co-workers, and even wives to guys who have little game. But to men, such as myself, who are extremely narcissistic, confident, and work hard to get what they want out of life, they hold little value outside a last call, desperate hook up or a consistent fuck kept around until someone better is found.
What makes a plain woman? Simple, she is not ugly by any means, but she isn’t eye catching either. She usually has one, maybe two, very redeemable features: nice breast, cute face, plump ass, cool personality, etc. The additional or lack of features are their down fall. She may be flat-chested, okay faced, shovel butted, a bit too chubby, too skinny, or have a monstrous over bite. They are physically unoffensive, but also uninspiring. They look more like Velma Dinkley from Scooby-Doo rather than Daphne.
She is someone you wouldn’t be embarrassed have walk out of your bedroom the next morning for your roommates to see. But they aren’t going to be impressed either. You’ll get a simple congratulations for getting your dick wet. You’d invest the absolute minimum when taking her out and would never consider actually introducing her to your friends or family. You avoid any conversation about a “relationship” because she lacks a lot of physical and personal qualities you desire in a partner. Yet, she has one very important quality: a warm pussy.
You may even enjoy spending time with her sparingly, but once you finish fucking her and are laying next to her in bed, you hate that she is still there. “I should’ve just jerked off,” you think to yourself. At least that way, you can just drink alone in the dark, and Facebook stalk chicks you might actually be happy with. Being with this plain girl is hallow to your heart and soul, but, getting to fuck a mediocre girl is better than not getting laid. You know you’ll eventually get your bombshell woman if you keep on hitting on chicks and play the numbers game. Until then, you can rely on a few plain girls to penetrate, while thinking to yourself, what the song User Friendly by Marilyn Manson says:
I’m not in love, but I’m gonna fuck you
’til somebody better comes along.
Read some more: The Feminine Aficionado
22 thoughts on “I’d Pee in Her Butt”
This is actually hilarious. Good job.
“a monstrous over bite” Woah, that’s not a dealbreaker? Think of what you’re doing with/to such an offensive orifice, isn’t that a little dangerous? Imperfect teeth are one thing, a hideous overbite that could gnaw through a tree is quite another!
We’re talking about chicks you bang and throw away here, not trophy wife. Give me a butterface, with amazing 36DD and I can fuck her with minimal loathing and dispair.
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But what happens when i actually want piss in my ass?
That can be arranged, probably.
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Very true! Been there…too many times.
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For someone with such an honorable position, serving our country, you sure do use your words and platform in a dishonorable way.
There is so much respect and honor associated with the US Military, especially if you were/are a “Ranger”- one of the most elite titles that a man can earn. Your posts clearly objectify women and show that you do not respect or honor females, at all. I am not judging your character- I get that some people are just trying to make a name for themselves, and clearly, your writing draws attention. You may be someone with outstanding integrity who makes all these stories up, for all I know. But the point is, you have a following- I was drawn to your post on TC because I worked in Afghanistan for 18 months as a civilian- and have post-grad education- so I read your article about the Generation Y split from a very objective place. I agreed with you and was happy to see someone explaining the very real dynamics that our military members face, especially those deployed, especially those in combat. I was so impressed that I came to your personal site, because I, too, am a writer. So to see these posts that openly admit to dropping “Ranger” on women at the bar, to “try to get your d*ck wet” is just a very disappointing and basic level of sell-out, not just as a writer with big thoughts, but as a human being who is contributing to a low-level societal cycle.
A man of high-integrity will not make these stories up. That’s called being a liar and dishonest if its not marked as fiction. Also, you must understand that the story I wrote about “dropping the Ranger bomb” occurred when I was 22, so maturity was not my strong suit back then and I’m honest enough to admit that. It still isn’t. Up to that point in my life, that was pretty much the only thing I had done worth mentioning so,I had to play the hand I had in order to get the girl somehow attracted to me.
This is how I see some women. Not all because I know there are a lot of them out there who are worth fighting for and becoming a better man for. You know, the ones who are educated, take care of themselves, are beautiful, and are motivated. Those are the ones I want in my life. Just as women don’t want shitty men in their lives, I don’t want shitty women in my life.
This post is honest. Being honest, even at a low-brow level shows higher intellectual maturity than being a liar with pseudo-philosophizing
::shrugs:: I don’t really know your intentions. I have read that you dream of being a writer, but really what is your message? Maybe you don’t have one and are just looking to be an entertainment writer? A woman who is educated, takes care of herself, is beautiful, AND is motivated will not be impressed by a lack of maturity, as you previously admitted. How does honesty correlate with intellectual maturity? Honesty is not a by-product of intellect; it is a trait of character. Your vocabulary, syntax, and semantics are impressive; I’d say from a craft-perspective, you’re one of the best writers I’ve read recently. But I am lost when there is no real takeaway as a reader.
Here is a reference point for you: http://swimbabyswim.wordpress.com/2013/08/08/the-flirting-stiff-arm-why-i-became-a-she-woman-man-hater/
I’m responding here to your most recent comment because I limit how deep the comments can go. My message? The message changes with every single blog post. My web site is RaulFelix.com and the only theme is that its my writings. Whatever I write about changes as I change, evolve, and decide to explore new subject matter. The message is very simple here: this is what how some guys feel and particularly myself about certain women. Its entertaining and I think the reader does take away message of understanding how some men use women only as sexual objects.
I as a man and as a writer am still growing and learning how to hone this shit. I’ve stated plenty of times that this is the way I currently like to write because I find it humorous and my style will change over time. Also, you are aware this post is over a year old right? Are you suggesting I be embarrassed by it or that I delete it? I won’t and I’m actually quite proud of this one. Not every post is going to be Earth shattering. Some are going to be deeper and others are not. If you feel its a waste, then oh well, so be it.
you are not a 8.
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