On Shit Talk

“Fuck you, mother fucker.” A very simple phrase. When said to a friend, its said after he burned you and called you out on your bull shit or one of your many short comings as a human being. He zinged you and you had no clever response. You just sat there accepting defeat because of your lack of quick wits. “Fuck you, mother fucker” was the only response you could think of as you sat there pissed off at your friends ability to destroy your self-esteem. Your ego is bruised. You try to think of a verbal ruse in order to inflict the same confidence shattering damage that he caused you. Depending on the depth of your friendship, you can make jokes about his obviously inferior race or you can call him out about that time he got arrested for masturbating in public. If he’s your best friend since high school, the sky is the limit. If he is a new guy friend who you’ve known for 2 or 3 months, then you’re still testing out the water. Maybe bringing up that his girlfriend cheated on him and he is still with her is not the right move.

“Women reinforce social bonds by complimenting each other (but not really meaning it), whereas we men socialize by insulting each other (but not really meaning it).”~Tucker Max

A man truly crosses the threshold from acquaintance to true friend when he is able to thoroughly insult you without fear of physical repercussion. When you dish out a zinger and all you fear is a deeper, soul eviscerating response, instead of the blade of a knife, you know this man is your friend. If you’re able to call him a cock sucker, and he responds with “Only yours baby”, then you know he is your friend. If you’re able to get drunk together, get into a fist fight, beat the living shit out of each other because you couldn’t agree on the finer points of motorcycle history, then, the next morning say “My bad bro… lets go grab some chow.” and give each other a high-five-handshake, then he is your friend.

Shit talk is a privilege reserved for your true friends. Any serious shit talk incurred by someone who doesn’t know you should be responded to swiftly. I don’t mind being called “A fucking dirty wet-back beaner that should’ve been swallowed.”, by those who know me, but a stranger says something remotely disrespectful to me, I’m ready to get into a fight. The same protective sphere goes out to my friends. Any man worth his grit is protective of his friends. He will attempt to keep his friend out of fight because he knows his buddy is drunk and actually being his bastard self, but if it comes down to it, he will take on anybody to protect him. Then, in a few years, they’ll laugh about the time they got beat up by some cross dressers.

Life is full of people who you are nice to and respectful to that you don’t really care about nor respect. Life is full of people that you hate and don’t like, and you make those feelings be known. But there are very few people in your life that you truly can say fucked up shit to that you don’t really mean, and who you truly respect and care about. Those are friendships worth cultivating.

~Raul Felix

8 thoughts on “On Shit Talk

    • I always say, we men can get drunk and beat the living shit out of each other and be boys the next morning. I have never ever heard of two girls literally fighting each other and ever being able to be friends again.

      • Yeah, that’s because we shit talk behind each other’s backs and don’t confront the real problem which leads to tension, which leads to a bitch fight, which leads to never ever speaking again and a whole division in your girl posse. Not good. Sometimes I think it would be good to be able to just punch a girl in the face and then go back to being friends once the swelling has gone down.

  1. I actually think that, that phrase is a bit stronger than you make to believe, when a person says to you F U that’s cool, when U say Mother F, that’s cool, when you say F U M F that’s a bit stronger; May be in your slang that’s your entire phrase to respond to a friend or an acquaintance. When I hear the entire phrase I take it as the person got insulted and is being Insulted back. Good way to outline the multiple scenarios of insults and how reaction time could be taken into consideration.
    In some levels of friendships there are deeper respect levels, the entire clowning and harassing is done to help somebody improve or because the person giving out the jokes is a joker or has a low level of self-esteem that he rather talk smack than see their own flaws. Friends are investments like insurance policies for certain necessities. They are also a support mechanism to help you understand or collaborate on different life circumstances.

  2. He zinged = (what does that mean)

    “Fuck you, mother fucker” was the only response you could think of as you sat there pissed off at your friends =( friend’s) ability to destroy your self-esteem.

    “Women reinforce social bonds by complimenting each other (but not really meaning it), whereas we men (socialize) = (this is a cliche you should explain) by insulting each other (but not really meaning it).”~Tucker Max

    I don’t mind being called “A fucking dirty wet-back (beaner) =( put it in quotes “BEANER” =Beaner is a slang term, widely regarded as derogatory, that refers to Mexicans or people of Mexican ancestry).that should’ve been swallowed.”,



    Sentence Length

    sentence info:
    2411 characters
    583 words, average length 4.14 characters = 1.24 syllables
    26 sentences, average length 22.4 words
    38% (10) short sentences (at most 17 words)
    15% (4) long sentences (at least 32 words)
    3 paragraphs, average length 8.7 sentences
    0% (0) questions
    73% (19) passive sentences
    longest sent 57 wds at sent 15; shortest sent 4 wds at sent 6

    •The most appropriate average English sentence length for most pieces of writing is about 15 to 20 words.
    •It can often be helpful to vary the length of sentences to reflect the mood or action that you are conveying.

    Vocabulary Score

    Vocabulary Score: 34
    Vocabulary Word Count: 4
    Percentage of Vocab Words: 1.07%
    Vocabulary Words in this Paper (a Subset): ruse, confidence, repercussion, bastard

    This paper could benefit from greater usage of vocabulary words. Although your vocabulary score is within the average range for most writers, boosting it above 60 will help your paper stand out.

    Grade: 77* -> C
    *based on college grading scale

  3. Dear Randy,

    I was sincerely hoping that you are joking, but Raul told me that you are not. So, I will try to respond to you sincerely.

    “Zinged”= a common slang used in popular culture to describe an insult that slightly “burns” the recipient. A common response to a zing from a by-stander would be: “BURN!!” said in a loud and excited voice. While, the common response of the zinged person is: “Fuck you, mother fucker.” When heard in the “zinged” context, while taking into consideration the psychological behavior and mindset of male “zingers”, the above term is not “a bit strong”.
    Although, one could respond “properly” with: “I take that offensively, please refrain from harassing or clowning. I rather not “talk-smack” and look at our flaws so we can better understand one another”. Although, one should be cautioned from such a response as the “shit-talking” men that Raul describes might decide to cancel their “investment” in you.


    Popular Culture:

    Ability to understand humor: needs improvement (70).
    Understanding slang: needs improvement (70).


    Effort: excellent (95).
    Investment in friendship: good (85)

    Grade: 79*

    *Based on zingers grading scale.

    This comment could benefit from greater understanding of popular culture and common male humor in general. However, your effort and investment in Raul as a friend is admirable. To increase investments of others in you, try improving your popular culture score. Boosting it above 70 will help you “collaborate on different life circumstance” with more friends.

  4. Pingback: Tough Love | RAUL FELIX.COM

  5. Pingback: True Friendship Is About Tough Love

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s