Bitch-Wagon

There are times when I feel like I am not making any forward progress in life. I’m an American, so I come from an immediate gratification society. We want everything right fucking now. Fuck the hard work. I know how hard this mentality is engraved into my mind. I find myself battling with it on a daily basis. I want to be successful now, I want to live the good life now, and I want the glory that it comes with it. Though I struggle with it, I know the true secret to success is hard work and diligently working on your craft. In my case, its writing on a daily basis and reading as much as I can. Many a day has passed where I’ve failed to accomplish what I’ve set out to do; and for the most part, had nothing to show for it.

“There is no royal road to geometry” Euclid said to a young Pharaoh who asked “Must a Pharaoh learn like a common slave?” That’s a concrete fact in whatever craft one wants to learn. No matter what class, country, race, or religion one comes from, the road to success is always through hard productive work, diligence, and discipline. I know this intellectually, but it hard not to be a little whinny bitch about it when it seems to take so long and the going gets tough. Another key I believe is not to let your bitching get in the way. It’s okay to say the occasional “I hate my fucking existence” or have the heavy sigh in frustration that only a cigarette or stiff drink can take care of. In fact, the frustrations shows that you’re actually challenging yourself and not just coasting through life.

Don’t stay on the bitch-wagon too long. That’s where the problem truly lies. You’re riding the bitch-wagon longer than then actually working on your skills and seeing what you can to do get better. I’ve been a victim of this countless times. I would bitch to myself about how I can’t get words on the pages or get into the zone. Instead of forcing myself to get something down, I would just let my mind wander, go on Facebook, and overall do jack shit production wise. Next thing I would know, I would have been five hours since I was in full frustration and instead of making the most of those hours, I pissed them away.

Am I perfect now? No. I still find myself taking longer rides on the bitch-wagon than I should be. I’m happy to report though, those rides are steadily getting shorter and shorter. What would take me a few days to get around to doing now takes me a day or few hours. Eventually, I will get to the point where my rides on the bitch-wagon will be at the bare minimum, because after all, I am human and I still need to bitch and moan on occasion.

~Raul Felix

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