Category Archives: Motivation

Tough Love

Posted on by Standard 5

“Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.”-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

My best friends are assholes. Whenever they see an opening to berate me and talk down to me, they not only strike viciously, but effectively. They are well versed in the guerilla warfare that is shit talk. Innovative, ruthless, and accurate in their ability to destroy my spirit and ego, they stop at nothing to beat me down and bring me back to reality. For this I am blessed.

Anyone can pretend to listen to you and tell you the things you want to hear to make you feel better about your adorable little problems. It’s a temporary patch that heals nothing and just strokes your ego. Your best friends are the ones who will rip into you and tell you the truth and what you need to hear. They won’t sugar coat it, but there will be plenty of whisky to help out.

You could be moping around, feeling sorry for yourself because Betty Sue won’t return your phone calls. You thought she was darn special didn’t you? Your friends don’t understand the heart break you’re going through. She’s a fucking unique snow flake and the prettiest of them all. She may be the love of your life. Damn, are you reading that? You see how pathetic you sound? That’s bitch talk.

If your friends are true friends, they will listen to your little bitchfest, but probably give you three, four minutes tops until they tell you stop being a pussy. That they didn’t know you were on your period and you should probably go to Walmart and get the premium brand of tampons to stop your heavy bleeding. No, in fact, your crimson tide is so heavy that you need to go to Costco and buy in bulk. They thought Betty Sue was a bitch any ways and thus, you shouldn’t be grieving for her.

You’re being a lazy, fat fuck who is apathetic about his future? You lack the self-awareness to recognize the useless piece of shit you’ve become? Don’t worry, your best friends will let you know how truly worthless you are. They’ll let you know that the path you’re on is leading you nowhere and that you’re wasting your life.

Don’t even think you gaining those ten extra pounds will go unnoticed. You think your boys are going to pass up the chance to ridicule you for being a lard ass? It will be such exquisite treat for them to mock you as your once mediocre body spirals downward into something resembling a potato sack with arms.

There are two reason they do this. One: it’s funny and fun to pick you apart and break you down. Two: they care about you. They want you to toughen up and not let a simple woman have so much control over your emotions. They want you to be successful and live up to your potential as a man. They don’t want to see you spinning your wheels forever. They want you to move forward and make something out of yourself.

They’re your best friends because you have a deep connection forged by years upon years of shared experiences and tomfoolery. You’ve grown up together and seen each other at highs and lows. They know what you are and are not capable of. It pisses them off when you’re not living up to your true potential, so they do shame you into, hopefully, doing something with your meager existence.

When you do actually start doing something to better yourself, they’ll be your biggest fans and supporters. If you start taking writing seriously, they’ll read every piece of shit article you write, hoping that you’ll eventually write something readable. If you take your musical talents seriously, they’ll be at your shows alongside your mom and no one else. When you decide to go back to school, they’ll warn you not to major in a worthless degree like they did.

There are a lot of men out there who don’t have close friends. If you’re lucky enough to have a few key men you can depend on no matter what, you’re way above the curve. The tough love they dish out comes with it. You truly need and want men who are honest with you, even brutally so. If not, you may as well be friends with gossipy chicks who will be your best friends to your face and talk shit behind your back.

~Raul Felix

You’re a dumb ass and you need to read more. Educate yourself: Politically Incorrect and Loving It

Note: This post has been featured on Return of Kings

What It Is To Write

Posted on by Standard 7

Writing is an individual event. One must have the motivation and tenacity to sit down in front of their laptop consistently and face the dreaded blank screen. Hoping the words your fingertips pound out will actually form something comprehensible. And if they form something comprehensible, will it actually be something that someone will want to read? And if it’s something someone will want to read, will what you attempt to convey be what they perceive? These are the questions that a writer asks himself when he sits down to write whatever piece he is working on.

Like any art, one must be willing to dredge through the bitter loneliness. No one sees your struggle to churn out that silly anecdote, philosophical rant, or witty observation. No one cares if it took you thirty minutes or six hours to piece together those 1800 words they read in three minutes. No one will come up to you in the coffee shop and ask you what you’re writing about and eagerly listen.

You must take full responsibility for the effort you put in. No one is going to call you before you go to sleep and ask you how many words you wrote today or how you better get your ass in gear and work on your new post. No one is going to yell in your ear and tell you to write more and write faster. No one, really, is thinking about what you’re doing to hone your craft. They’re too busy with their own lives and worries.

Its up to you. Rare is the parent who wishes their kid to be a writer, as opposed to a doctor or engineer. Rare is the employer, who cares about your ability to write whimsical tales as opposed to having the proper skills for the job. Rare is the friend who is willing to help you through the muck that are rough drafts. Rarely will anybody tell you that writing is what you should do instead of using that energy elsewhere.

Writing is a cruel art. Cruel because it teases your mind when it’s unable to grasp the proper words or idea’s to pour onto a piece. Cruel because once you finally grasps those words for that sentence, the next sentence is placed in front you. One’s mental capacity is constantly being pushed to its outer limits. It’s a disheartening and unnerving craft, because sometimes your best words go unacknowledged. With each step taken forward, the hill inclines a slight bit.

Writing is a loving art. Loving because once your artistic threshold has been pushed, it nourishes your mind and reinvigorates into something slightly more grandeur. Loving because once you finish a piece, you immediately forget the feeling of hopelessness that once consumed you. In its place, accomplishment and self-satisfaction. Loving because the words you write are an expression of your very core as a human being. You created something that, a moment before, didn’t exist. You contributed to your culture, in a very small, but special way.

You have to be willing to take the hits to your ego as a piece you diligently worked on for hours goes unnoticed. You have to adopt the mentality that each piece, however grand or small, is nothing more than a brick placed towards building yourself as writer. Some will gather more attention than others, but even the most impressive structure has countless small bricks as support. Don’t forget that the world operates on a “what have you done for me lately” mentality. You’re only as good as your last piece, for the writer who dwells too long on his past success is a has-been.

Writing is self-absorbed and pretentious. It’s feeling that for whatever farfetched reason, people will actually care what you have to say about any subject whatsoever. It’s feeling that your uniqueness as a special snowflake is so god damn remarkable, that another special snowflake will take time away from their own little special snowflake existence to read what your special snowflake ass has to say. As the old maxim goes: it requires the foolishness to try, and the cockiness to think you can actually succeed.

Writing, in its simplest form, is putting words on paper. Like a skilled wordsmith, you must bend them to your will. Whether they be for good or evil, humor or grief, fact or fiction, they are yours for the taking. The only thing stopping you is whether you’re willing to dig deep enough to harness their power.

~Raul Felix

Some more writings about writing, read: One Year & Driving On

One Year & Driving On

Posted on by Standard 12

“Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.”-Gloria Steinem

One year ago, I started this little blog in an effort to pressure myself to get my writing out there for the dear and avid reader, such as yourself, to enjoy. It was a really tough step for me because I wasn’t that confident about my writing up to that point. But, it has been more rewarding than I thought it would be. Even though I harbor no delusions of grandeur and I know I am small fry and I don’t have a huge following. It feels great and humbling to know that people take time out of their day to read the kind of stuff I come up with. It’s beyond the grasp of my writing ability to describe how it feels when a friend, acquaintance, or a stranger tells me they’ve read one of my entries and found it hilarious or insightful.

One of the most rewarding parts of it has been that I surprise people with my ability to write. I’m not trying suck my own cock here, but it brings a shit-eating grin to my face when those who knew me at some point in my colorful life say they can’t believe my dumb ass wrote that or that I’m a good writer. I’m proud when I get that response, because it means I am evolving not only as a writer, but as a human being. My skills were not always up to par, as one of my best friends, Sleazy-E once put it, “Felix, I want say I’m actually impressed. Your blog is good. In several years you went from obvious reaching for vocabulary words to an efficient and effective use of the English language.”

I’m not sure what I expected people’s responses to be. But I believe I am lucky because I have received nothing but support from my friends, family, and acquaintances that I’m pursuing this avenue for myself. No one has berated me and told me that I have no hopes of becoming a writer. Though, that also has to do with the fact that I’m doing other positive things with my life and I have no aspirations to be a stereo typical starving artist.

There is a big cliche out there that there are writers who don’t write and just want to call themselves writers in hopes of sounding artsy and getting that hipster pussy. That’s not what I am about. I feel that it’s a title that needs to be earned with constantly pouring yourself into the craft and having the balls to let the world see the dark parts of your mind and self. I have just barely grown comfortable with calling myself a writer and not just an aspiring writer. Some may take that title lightly, but I don’t, because I believe this is what I was born to do and I give it the respect it deserves.

It’s such a unique and under-appreciated skill set to come up with writing that people actually want to read. I try to be as funny, witty, and insightful as I can. Sometimes I hit the mark, other times I fail. But with each post, I’m trying to push what I am capable of as a writer. So far, it has been a mixtures of some of my life stories, my philosophies, and quite a bit of machismo and misogyny. Some entries I try to write in a fictional way to make the point more clear and others I make my best effort to be as accurate to the true events as possible.

While I am proud of every single one of my entries, some stand out more than others. The Feminine Aficionado was a milestone, where for the first time I let out my bold thoughts and feelings on how I view each woman I see in public. I’d Pee in Her Butt put to light how men truly feel about women they only keep around to fuck and because of its title, has been one of the most memorable and most read. Three Rock Solid Ways to Become a More Marketable Bum was not as successful in attracting views as I thought it should have been, but I believe without a doubt is my best written piece to date. Four Things You Didn’t Think of Before Joining the Army was my first success in giving out real world advice in a funny and witty manner. Shy Girl holds a special place in my heart because it’s inspired by those many lonely nights I spent in the barracks as a 19 and 20 year old Private in the Army looking for girls on myspace to meet up with and constantly getting ignored and rejected.

Writing has given me an outlet to express myself. I don’t know how I went so long without fully embracing it. Because as of now, I can’t imagine living a fulfilling life without it. I made it through my first year and didn’t quit, I think that puts me in the top 20% of bloggers/writers just in itself. Now, its time to take bolder, more aggressive steps to get myself up to the 10%. Thank you for supporting me in my first year. I will continue to push myself to deliver the quality, bull shit free content you have come to expect from me and hopefully, give you a few laughs along the way.

~Raul Felix

Where it began: It Begins.

Three Rock Solid Ways to Become a More Marketable Bum

Posted on by Standard 12

With the current global economical crisis and quite possibly the fall of the American empire, times are getting tough for people of all professions. While we read countless articles detailing the plight of recent college graduates who are unable to obtain jobs in their chosen career path of Communications, Journalism, and baby sitting retarded kids. Not to mention, of office drones losing their soul crushing cubicle jobs to Abu in India who does it for half as much and feels having a crushed soul is better than starving. There is another, forgotten segment of the population that is being pounded by the fall out. We’re talking about a profession with a long history, deep culture, and high espirt de corps; being a bum.

The glory days of bumming are over. No longer can you create a funny, yet truthful signs and expect people to give you their loose change. The internet has desensitized us all and at the most you’ll get out of your clever “Why lie? I need beer,” sign will be a roll of the eyes and people thinking that’s so 2007. In order to help you compete in these cutthroat times, these are three simple ways to help you get those spare nickels, dimes, quarters, and the holy grail of them all, a spare dollar.

Get with the times ol' timer.

Get with the times man!

Develop a Talent

People these days expect a lot out of their bums. It’s not enough to just be stinky and dirty, you have to be stinky and dirty with a purpose! Start singing, juggling, street painting, or break dancing. People will begin to build their own little back story for you. They’ll assume that you were once an aspiring entertainer or artist and then the drugs and alcohol took too firm a hold of you and beat you down to the life the you live today. People love that sort of drama.

The key is to start developing your talent in public right now. You suck a drawing? Just start drawing lines and squares and whammy, you’re a misunderstood modern artist. People will toss you the occasional nickel while you paint. Its like getting paid to learn and its way more fiscally responsible than getting into debt $40,000 for a Fine Arts Degree. Can’t sing to save your life? Invest in a $9 harmonica and start using your raspy frog voice to sing the blues. Use your brutal existence as a source of inspiration for your music. Lyrics such as:

I had woman
Left me for another man.
Now I’m out here in the cold
I know you don’t give a damn.

Just need a dime or a quarter
So I can go buy some booze
I’ll drink deep into the night
While I sing the whore of an ex-wife blues.

Those simple lyrics will get you attention from at least 50% of your customer base. Because 50% of men have been with cheating whores and will sympathize with you and 50% of women have been cheating whores and will feel guilty.

No money for paint supplies or a harmonica? Start break dancing or juggling random stuff you find in the garbage. Both require no monetary investment and with your first nickel you’re already in profit mode and thus already doing way better than 90% of American businesses. Both are skills that can be learned for free via youtube at the computer stations at your local public library, you know, that place you use to go shower at in the sink.

Now these kids are going places.

Now these kids are going places.

Become a Cripple

You’re a run of the mill able bodied bum with a drug and alcohol problem so severe that it cost you all your friends, family, and means of employment. Its tough finding work when you’re an addict, you justify. That may be so, but to the rest of the population you’re no different then the 20 other bums they passed that day. What makes you stand out? What makes your unique struggle so much more special than your peers? A horrible disfigurement may be your answer!

Human beings naturally take pity on people who are crippled because it digs deeply into their own fears that it could be them one day should such an accident happen. You can leverage this fear into profit for yourself.

There are various ways you can cripple yourself. You can run into traffic or jump off the 2nd story of a building. One other effective method would be to owe enough money to the Mafia where they will break your legs, but not so much where they will kill you. Sometimes its best to let the pro’s do the work.

Now, this will require a real commitment on your part. By intentionally becoming crippled you have decided you’re no longer making bumming a “just in the mean time thing while you sort things out” but a full fledged career. A big step proving that you’re growing up and taking life seriously. Don’t try to fake it, because people can see through that bull shit and will call you out. There is also an increased chance of getting robbed because you will be a more vulnerable target. But those extra few bucks you get a day will more than make up for it.

If FDR can, so can you!

If FDR can, so can you!

Adopt a Best Friend

It’s a fact that people care more about dogs than their fellow human beings. It quite justified actually, because while dogs show love unconditionally, human beings are conniving and have ulterior motives. Yes, it may be another mouth to feed, but it will be a loyal mouth the will attract so much sympathy from the animal lover in all of us that you’ll be balls deep in nickels.

Many people won’t turn twice to look at you if they know you’re starving. But they will stop immediately and pet a cute little puppy and check him out to see if he is okay. In the process they will ask you what his name is, scratch his belly, and make kissing faces at him. Since dogs can look both pathetic and adorable at the same time, they’ll give you some money to make sure he gets feed. Some untrusting folks will just buy the food for the dog directly using your booze money and feed it to him. It’s a little dehumanizing to you, but you must remember never to show any jealousy toward your four legged friend. You two are a team, just let him do all the work and you may even be able to afford vodka that doesn’t come in a plastic bottle.

Being a bum with a dog puts you in an elite class in the brotherhood of homelessness. Its like being a Fighter Pilot in the Air Force or a Ranger in the Army. It’s rare, unique, and so few people can pull it off or have the opportunity to do so. It will be tough at first, but once you accept this challenge, it will pay you back tenfold in profit and in love. It’s a perfect symbiotic relationship.

You only feel bad because of the dog.

You only feel bad because of the dog.

We all need to up our game in these turbulent times. It’s suggested that you only do one of these at a time. Pace yourself and perfect one of the three, before moving on to the next. For those of you of true ambition, you’ll be crippled, singing the whore of an ex-wife blues, and having your best friend howling along in no time. Just because your at rock bottom, doesn’t mean you can’t shoot for the moon!

~Raul Felix

Read another! It’s not like you have anything better to do: Four Things You Didn’t Think of Before Joining the Army

Onward to 2013

Posted on by Standard 3

2012 was a big year of rebuilding myself on a personal level. I got my finances under control and not just that, they are rocking now and I have created a huge financial safety net for myself using the strategies of Dave Ramsey and Ramit Sethi. I deepened my friendships with the people I’ve met here in Israel and have done a pretty decent job keeping in touch with my best friends in the US. I got to play amateur football (yes, American full contacted football) in the Israeli Football League and have had a blast. I’ve explored most of Israel, I rode around the entire country of Italy on a motorcycle for three weeks, and I have visited Petra and Wadi Rum, Jordan. I’ve read a couple dozen books, drank many beers, and have had many insightful and shallow conversations. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but have learned a bit from them.

In my writing, the biggest step I took was creating this blog back in March. Some writers may take such a creation in a half hearted matter, but it was really tough for me to do so. I had no idea what I was going to write about, and truthfully, I still struggle to come up with subject matters. I’m not the most consistent writer yet, I only update two or three times a month, yet, I feel myself improving. I know I’ll get to the point where I produce quality content weekly, twice a week, or maybe more. It just takes time to develop the sort of consistency. I look at the bright side though, as of this writing, I have 22 posts under my belt. That’s 22 more than I had this time last year. A very huge step indeed. I’m in this for the long-haul, I don’t plan to ever quit writing or updating this site. Maybe I’m not posting ten times a month, but I’m fairly certain I’ll be here, still writing away, ten, fifteen, and twenty years from now.

If 2012 was just the beginning for my writing, then 2013 is going to be a year of vast improvements to it and how I approach it. I generally think New Years resolutions are arbitrary and are only set because buying a new calendar demands you to make radical changes in your life. I see them as nothing more than marketing gimmick used by gyms, pyramid schemes, and car dealerships to sell you into buying their bullshit. But, I couldn’t help thinking deeply about what I want to accomplish in this area of my life in the year 2013.

Accountability is an essential element to success. I’ve made many private goals and have accomplished some, but not all. I think lack of accountability is the main factor. I don’t really put it out there and when I do miss my goal, I sit there in silent disgust, but no real consequences are felt. I will put my three simple goals out there for writing. Once I’ve made it public, it’s something I have to accomplish or risk being labeled a wannabe.

1. Four plus posts a month: It will be mandatory for myself to make at least four posts a month. If I make five a month, great, but none of them will roll over. Each month is a fresh month and the same standard will be kept.  To paraphrase a sales saying, “You’re only as good as your last update.”

2. Begin writing my fictional novel: I have a couple of idea’s rolling through my head of novels I intend to write, but haven’t chosen to stick to a single one of them yet. So, in an effort to move forward, I have chosen one and will stick with it until it’s complete. I’m not saying it’s going to be a masterpiece, but the important thing is that I begin it, that I make steady progress with it, and actually, dare I say, finish it.

3. Guest Posts: I’ve noticed that I’ve discovered other peoples blog through guest posts they’ve made. I’m going to start reaching out to the few bloggers I know and offer to do a guest post. Something that will completely written for their blog. I have some idea of who I am going to reach out to and I hope I can deliver some quality content for them and their readers.

Those are the three simple goals I have for myself in writing for 2013. By putting them out there, I intend to put the pressure on my ass to accomplish them without excuses.

~Raul Felix

Like this? Check out: I’d Pee in Her Butt.

Influences: Maddox, Tucker Max, APB, TC Luoma

Posted on by Standard 17

Every person who is worth a damn has had people who have inspired and influenced them. It can take the form of direct one on one lessons or through reading and watching. Either way, these mentors helped develop their actions and mindset for better or worse. It doesn’t matter whether you’re seeking to become an underwater basket weaver, stripper, rocket surgeon, or a writer on a self-named blog with hopes that it will get you hot blog groupies after they see how funny and clever your writing is and thus crave your cock; there are mentors out there for you. For my writing ambitions, dark sense of humor, and my mindset on life, the following four internet writers are my biggest influences.

Maddox

Quite possibly the first true internet satirists. Maddox has had his page, The Best Page in the Universe, online since 1997. His headline: “This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong,” kicks you right in the taint and lets you know that your little dip shit opinion doesn’t matter. So much so that he even has a link to his hate mail and his responses to said hate mail, exposing the logical fallacies of its sender.

Maddox writes about beating your kids, killing yourself in very awesome ways, heavily criticizes little kids on their shitty art, and how big his balls are. He rants about minor and major things that annoy him everyday life. He portrays himself as the essence of manliness and his writing bursts with testosterone. So much so, in fact, that he wrote a book called The Alphabet of Manliness that became an instant New York Times Best Seller.

Careful ladies, this book will turn your clit into a dick.

Careful ladies, this book will turn your clit into a dick.

I discovered Maddox in 2003 when I was 15 years old. Though I’ve seen and read many funny stuff by that time, his complete disregard for what is appropriate to write about and what isn’t laid the framework for my humor. I found myself reading his whole entire archive in one night and eagerly awaiting updates for his next article. I would share them with my friends, some liked it and some hated it. I learned through his writing that humor really has no limits, to stand by ones writing, and never try to please anyone. He states that his site started with fewer than 5 readers a month and got to the point of a million readers a month through a lot of hardwork and not bitching and moaning people to link to him.

Tucker Max

The most famous name on this list. With his infamous introduction, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.” Tucker Max sets the stage for the internet phenomena known as The Tucker Max Stories. These are epic and wonderfully crafted tales of drunkenness, sexual promiscuity, and highly inappropriate and outlandish behavior. Mostly occurring when he was 20-28, he writes about having anal sex for the first time, the first midget he fucked, and the ego crushing knowledge that he may not be the only man a woman has fucked that day.

What makes it shocking to prudes with no real sense of reality, is that The Tucker Max stories are real. These events actually occurred and he has fucked all these moronic whores, caused all this havoc, and called out all the losers that he detailed in his stories. He has done all of this and still is with us today. People call his life surreal and over-exaggerated (because their idiots), but he even claims that he hasn’t really done anything that isn’t out of the ordinary. Guys have fucked sluts and gotten drunk since the beginning of time, he was just the first to write about it.

This man is the reason I have lost faith in womankind. Thanks Tucker!

This man is the reason I have lost faith in womankind. Thanks Tucker!

The unique thing about Tucker Max’s writing is that underneath the comedy and shenanigans, there are many life lessons to be had. When I first started reading his work at age 19, I was in a more innocent frame of mind about women and their whorish mannerisms. So when I read his stories, I was a bit shocked that women would go for a guy like this. I kept on reading on and discovered why. As much of an asshole as Tucker was, he had confidence in himself and didn’t take shit from anybody. He had the balls to approach and get rejected. He would call out women on their bull shit and they either loved him or hated him. One thing he wasn’t though, was a carpet to for them to walk over. Women don’t respect a man they can walk all over, much less fuck him. It started to make sense why those girls I wanted before wouldn’t have me and fucked some other asshole. Because I was nice. So I began to apply those lessons to my life, stopped being nice, and became more aggressive. My success with women steadily improved and compounded.

Angry Patriotic Bastard

In a time when there were too many apologetic Americans complaining about the evil empire that we have become, came along Angry Patriotic Bastard. Even though his blog was short-lived and he hasn’t written in over seven years, his message stayed with me. APB loved to talk shit on the pussification that has come of American culture. Having absolutely no qualms about calling out the things he truly hated, he would write blog post after blog post of politically incorrect rhetoric attacking hippies, bicyclists, muslims, and Florida rednecks.

No one was above the scrutiny of APB’s political mind set. He believed in an America where we are on top of the food chain and every nation bowed to our powerful, raging cock of freedom. In his mindset, like it or not, America dominates the world. If we don’t’ control you economically, we control you with our pop culture. How many of you are using products designed by Americans and made by little slave Chinese kids? You’re damn right it’s not going to be little slave American kids making that shit. They’re too busy being molested by their step-father.

AMERICA! MOTHER FUCKER!

AMERICA! MOTHER FUCKER!

His writing style is very aggressive and hellbent on offending you, pulling it off in a masterful way. While I personally try to avoid political subjects in my writing, because I find it exhausting to keep up with and it becomes irrelevant a couple of weeks or months later, he was able to create timeless political writing that if you read it today, still applies and will make you laugh your ass off.

TC Luoma

On the calmer side of the spectrum comes TC Luoma. He writes for the bodybuilding website, T-Nation in his series called The Atomic Dog, later renamed The Testosterone Principles. The main theme is becoming a better man. Better yet, not being a pussified modern man that feminism(stupid cunts) has pushed onto us. Instead become a man who embraces his testosterone, who shamelessly pursues the good things in life: women, beer, working out, meat, and sex.

As shallow as those subject matters sound, his writing always has an underlying tone of taking accountability and responsibility for your life. To pursue a life of constant learning, reading, and improving over all. Whether it’s chasing your dream to become poker player or getting out of the rat race that is the norm of our society.

He hates how our society has become more feminine and estrogen centered, and how testosterone gets a bad name for being seen as too aggressive and ape like. He points out that testosterone is the reason behind all that drive us as humans. Men with higher testosterone are smarter, stronger, have a higher libido, and are more ambitious than men of lower testosterone levels. Men with low testosterone tend to be fucking slobs, losers, scrawny, or overweights sacks of shit.

And his hair is glorious.

And his hair is glorious.

Through his writings, I’ve learned to embrace my manhood unapologetically. I’m a man and I will act like one. I expect my woman to act like a woman and be feminine. Fuck that politically correct bull shit.

Their writing is low-brow, unacademic, and not meant for those who suffer from having sand in their vagina. But these men have had more of an influence on the development of my mind than any school, teacher, or professor.

~Raul Felix

You like that? Good! Check out: Four Things You Didn’t Think of Before Joining the Army.

Inch by Inch

Posted on by Standard 6

Sitting alone in his home, draped in darkness, save for the gentle blue glow of his computer monitor, he sips his drink. He neither asked for company nor would accept any, for he is working on his craft. Tonight is for imbibing in his favorite drink and going deep into the labyrinth of his mind and put to words the events, people, and philosophies that occupy it. He is unable to fully think of such things in a sober state, so he turns to his glorious alcoholic vice.

His drink of choice varies, whether it be the sweet and rough kisses of Lady Liquor or the obvious teases and delayed gratifications of the tramp Beer. Tonight, he decides, he’ll tango with the tramp. He hopes her little flirtations will ignite something deep within him and just maybe, he will write something destined for greatness.

He’s typing away, struggling to manifest his thoughts. A clever sentence here, a snarky remark there, a too worthy sentence that is executed the moment it’s completed. It’s a messy little dance. He grows excited when the words pour out and frustrated when they stagnate. As he takes another swig and walks around his home in anxiousness, he wonders if anymore words will come to him. Or is he finished? Is he through? Is he just a fucking drunk pretending to be a writer?

The thought of being a nobody infuriates him. His mind is bursting with idea’s. He has stories, jokes, and social commentary to disperse. Yet, it feels like every word typed is an inch by inch uphill battle. Then a revelation, recalling Al Pacino’s half-time speech from Any Given Sunday:

You find out life’s this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game – life or football – the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that’s gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing!

Writing, he thinks, is the same way. It’s fighting for that inch, for that word, for that sentence. Digging deep, fighting self-doubt, word by word. Tearing cynicism to pieces, sentence by sentence. A word placed wrong, you don’t quite communicate it. A sentence structured incorrectly, you don’t quite express it. A writer must be willing to pour all he has, tooth and nail, for those words and sentences. Because he knows that when he adds up all those hard fought for words and sentences it’s the fucking difference between greatness and obscurity.

He smiles as he realizes that the struggle is part of the craft. It’s not supposed to be easy and it’s not supposed to be fast. Its about perseverance, worth ethic, inches, and exhausting yourself for your dream. “Now quit your bitching,” he says out loud, “Get back to work and fight for that inch.”

~Raul Felix

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I wrote the following in May 2007 while in my barracks room, lonely and drunk. It inspired the first part of Inch by Inch. Though I’m kind of embarrassed of it right now, it shows my evolution as a writer. I’m leaving it unedited, but I think it’s not too bad for a drunk, dumbass 20 year old.

On Drinking Alone

Very few things show that a man has arrived to maturity than the act of drinking alone. The act of facing whatever hidden demons the lack of alcohol has hidden from him. A man who drinks alone, is a brave man. He does something that many would consider to do only in comfortable presence of loved ones and acquaintance. Since so many people fear to lurk into those dark places of their minds without some companionship.

The Lone Drinker is often considered to be disturbed, an alcoholic, and as the name implies… a loner. No, the Lone Drinker is the enlightened man who knows how to enjoy the sweet and rough kisses of lady Liquor and the obvious teases and delayed gratifications of the tramp Beer. The Lone Drinker doesn’t need the reassurance of others to enjoy what is truly fine in life. He doesn’t drink because he wants to impress others, he drinks for the pure love of alcohol. He finishes off more drinks than drinks have finished off him.

He is very misunderstood. He not as well respected as he should be. Some might pity him. But, those who do, don’t have the balls to be like him. Because inside of them, there is a fear that they are not strong enough. Or the thought that they are better than that. Maybe they think that are too good to drink alone. So, they must seek that party that allows them the chance to drink. So let me ask… who is more powerful… the uncertain people who only drink when it’s appropriate or the lone drinker? The man who controls when he drinks, how much he drinks, and whether or not he has other make the choice for him.

~Raul Felix

I’d Pee in Her Butt

Posted on by Standard 23

You look at that girl across the room. She is nothing special, but she is eye fucking you because you’re an eight and she’s a mid-range six. As long as you can keep yourself from showing too much of your shitty personality and not let on that you cry yourself to sleep, the odds of hooking up with her are favorable. You ask your buddy what he thinks of her. “Huh, not bad, I’d pee in her butt” he responds with a nod and frown. You’ve already been rejected by the hot chicks at the bar, and with a couple of more drinks this girl could become a rock solid seven. You make your move.

It comes as no surprise that most women are not bombshells. Most women (and men) are average looking, have average levels of intelligence, and have average ambitions. For a girlfriend, my high standards in all those fields are nonnegotiable. But a chick to just hook up with no emotional investment or attachment, those standards can be adjusted.

Plain looking women have their place in society just like every other person. They can be great sisters, friends, co-workers, and even wives to guys who have little game. But to men, such as myself, who are extremely narcissistic, confident, and work hard to get what they want out of life, they hold little value outside a last call, desperate hook up or a consistent fuck kept around until someone better is found.

What makes a plain woman? Simple, she is not ugly by any means, but she isn’t eye catching either. She usually has one, maybe two, very redeemable features: nice breast, cute face, plump ass, cool personality, etc. The additional or lack of features are their down fall. She may be flat-chested, okay faced, shovel butted, a bit too chubby, too skinny, or have a monstrous over bite. They are physically unoffensive, but also uninspiring. They look more like Velma Dinkley from Scooby-Doo rather than Daphne.

She is someone you wouldn’t be embarrassed have walk out of your bedroom the next morning for your roommates to see. But they aren’t going to be impressed either. You’ll get a simple congratulations for getting your dick wet. You’d invest the absolute minimum when taking her out and would never consider actually introducing her to your friends or family. You avoid any conversation about a “relationship” because she lacks a lot of physical and personal qualities you desire in a partner. Yet, she has one very important quality: a warm pussy.

You may even enjoy spending time with her sparingly, but once you finish fucking her and are laying next to her in bed, you hate that she is still there. “I should’ve just jerked off,” you think to yourself. At least that way, you can just drink alone in the dark, and Facebook stalk chicks you might actually be happy with. Being with this plain girl is hallow to your heart and soul, but, getting to fuck a mediocre girl is better than not getting laid. You know you’ll eventually get your bombshell woman if you keep on hitting on chicks and play the numbers game. Until then, you can rely on a few plain girls to penetrate, while thinking to yourself, what the song User Friendly by Marilyn Manson says:

I’m not in love, but I’m gonna fuck you
’til somebody better comes along.

~Raul Felix

Read some more: The Feminine Aficionado

Deliberate Practice

Posted on by Standard Reply

We all suck horribly whenever we take it upon ourselves to learn a new skill. For most people, anything that requires any level of skill does not come naturally. I have taken a look at my writing from five or more years ago; it’s embarrassing to see how poor my writing was. It lacked style and it was mostly curse filled rants with no direction or purpose other than to make one laugh. I’m glad to see that my writing has evolved, even if I only just learned how to use my cursing more sparingly.

So we all suck, it doesn’t mean we have to stay sucking. We all know the saying “Practice makes perfect”, well it’s missing a key word: Deliberate. Deliberate practice makes perfect. What does that mean? It means that in each session where you practice whatever your craft, sport, or profession is, you’re actively seeking to learn, refine, and improve as opposed to going through the motions. This is perfectly explained in “The Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell, with the 10,000-Hour Rule. Gladwell explains that in order to be a master, not just proficient or an expert, takes about 10,000 hours of deliberate practice. He uses The Beatles as one of his examples, who played live as a cover band in a strip club in Hamburg, Germany over 1,200 times for eight hours a night from 1960-1964. It takes twenty hours a week for ten years for a person to get their 10,000 hours in.

This makes me wonder where the hell I am in this spectrum. I’m sure I am very near the beginning of it. I can say that I’ve probably have put 250-300 hours of work into my writing throughout my life. When you compare it to 10,000, it seems like a very daunting task and like I’ll never get to the level of mastery. But seeing the vast improvements I’ve made with 250-300 hours, it gives me hope. While I don’t believe my writing is great by any means, I do believe its solid and I can write way better than 90% of people. I don’t compare myself to the 90% of people though, because those people aren’t doing what I want to do and don’t live the life I want to live. When I do compare my writing, I compare it to writers that I look up to.

In his book, “On Writing”, Stephen King says ”Almost everyone can remember losing his or her virginity, and most writers can remember the first book he/she put down thinking: I can do better than this, Hell, I am doing better than this!” Its true. I remember the moment when I decided to grow the balls to create this little blog and put my writing out there. One night I decided to take a look at the first entries of the writers who’s blogs I follow and writing I respect. What I found were entries dating back four to ten years ago (depending the writer) that were just plain bad. Nothing close to the level that they write at now. This was a very happy epiphany for me. I knew that I was not as good a writer that they are at their current state, but I am way better than they were when they began blogging. Cowardice was the only thing holding me back. What made me different then them? They just kept driving on until they produced pieces that people actually wanted to read.

I want to get to master status in my writing. As cocky as it sounds, I know I have what it takes to be great at this. Every letter, word, paragraph, and piece I complete, I improve. As I write these words, I’m trying to figure out how to communicate more effectively and how to say more while writing less. I’m trying to figure out and develop my style and what I bring to the table as a writer. The answer to those questions and many others will only come with time and me putting my hours of hard, deliberate practice in.

~Raul Felix

Warrior-Scholar

Posted on by Standard 5

“Any nation which draws too broad a difference between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools.” ~Thucydides

Its easy to envision the warrior as an overzealous, testosterone infused, rage machine only hell bent on destruction. Its even easier to portray the scholar as an aging, pretentious, ivory tower elitist, digging through obscure scrolls and texts in insolation. In order for civilization, and us to progress as individuals, the mind set that you’re either/or must cease.

The warrior: whether he be a Soldier, Marine, Sailor, or Airman; must be willing to educate himself in the ways of the world. He must not only know how to fight, but why he fights. He must come to terms that sharping his mind and increasing his knowledge is every bit as important as keeping his shot groups tight and his body strong.

The scholar: whether he be in academia or an armchair intellectual, must acknowledge that only feeding the mind, while letting the body decay is a great heresy to nature. History may have been written by the scholars, but the warriors were its creators. Intellectual discussion and theory is grand, but the warriors actions and application of ideas will win the day.

The scholar and the warrior are men with their own ambitions, motives, and agendas. Each fighting a personal war within themselves and the world. It’s not enough to just be warrior or scholar, one must become both. Without the thinking of the scholar and the doing of the warrior, he will falter and face defeat on the battlefield of life.

Being a warrior-scholar doesn’t mean one has to be a member of the military or academia, but rather embrace the warrior-scholar spirit and mindset. It means being physically and mentally tough enough to overcome the trials and tribulations of life. It means being mentally versatile and resourceful enough to find solutions to each common and unique problem life puts in front of you. There will always be times where mind will triumph over matter and others where matter will beat the mind. Why not have both as an asset?

~Raul Felix